The world’s ten ugliest cars

These in my opinion are the ten ugliest cars in the world. They cannot not be very old models and they cannot be French because the French do not make, and never have made, ugly cars. With one exception - the Pontiac Aztec - they are all current models. However, it is impossible to exclude the Aztec because it is so breath-takingly ugly. But it is not the winner because it is not just about the aesthetic quality or lack thereof, it is about the message that the vehicle conveys. That is why the Audi Q7 makes the top ten - because of its arrogant and disdainful demeanour, not to mention the size of its carbon footprint. It is a 'fuck you' kind of car. The winner has this in spades, but it all says a lot about the calibre of the intellect and the personality of the owner.


In reverse order:

10. Porsche Cayenne – a triumph of cynical marketing over aesthetic design

9. Audi Q7 – it’s obscenely large, it’s obscenely arrogant; a German tank for a spot of annexing?

8. Mercedes R class – it looks like a hearse, and you wouldn’t want to be seen dead in it

7. BMW 1 Series – its looks like a bread van, what on earth were they thinking?

6. Chrysler 300C – appallingly conceived and executed; particularly awful in estate form

5. Chrysler PT Cruiser –not just an ugly face - it really is crap in every regard; noddy goes to toy town

4. Toyota Scion – makes a cornflake box looks charismatic

In third place...

3. Ssanyong Rodius – hilariously inept and piecemeal; looks like a dog’s dinner

The runner up is...

2. Pontiac Aztec – deliberately designed to offend, surely?

And the winner is...

1. Mini Countryman – it’s hideous, it’s crass, it’s kitsch, it’s unspeakably ghastly and it’s loathsome.

I was out for a walk this morning and I saw one parked in the street. What an eyesore. It is huge and it is tall. It is a betrayal of Sir Alec Issigonis’s original design. It is worse than an original mini on a vast quantity of steroids. It is the worst case of crass retro, and despite is exterior bulk is cramped inside. It is expensive and it rides like a bucking bronco. An irrelevant and offensive car, which says alot about the owner. The sad thing is they think they have got a cool car.